Cracks in the System
Being a mom is bar none the most rewarding job I had ever held—and by far the most overwhelming. My intense focus on my son’s physical, cognitive, emotional, and social development left little capacity for household management and self-care. I chalked it up to first-time parenthood, a lack of nearby support, and living in a metropolitan area filled with young professionals. My closest friends lived at least an hour away, none of them had kids, and family members who could help were on the other side of the continent. I told myself what I was experiencing was completely normal for my situation.
Or was it?
As the rigorous schedule of early babyhood eased, the gaps in my executive functioning became undeniable. The perpetual piles of clean, unfolded laundry. The blur of scheduled and unscheduled enrichment activities. The constant feeling of being more than a little out of step with cleaning, organization, and budgeting. These weren’t just growing pains—they were signs.
By the time my son received his diagnosis, I had convinced myself that parenthood simply meant existing in this constant state of barely managed chaos. I often wondered how working moms pulled it off, thinking back to colleagues who seemed to juggle everything with ease. Looking back, there’s no doubt in my mind that my ability to parent would have been drastically compromised if I had gone back to work. And let’s be honest, my home would’ve been in even worse shape.
- What routines or expectations did you find yourself struggling with as a new parent?
- Have you ever misattributed your struggles to external circumstances, only to later realize they were signs of something more?
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