Tag: medical advocate

  • The Exercise Dilemma—Motivating a Stubborn Loved One

    The Exercise Dilemma—Motivating a Stubborn Loved One

    At first, caregiving was light duty: shuttling Mom to appointments, taking notes, making sure prescriptions were refilled, and casually suggesting she stay active. It was recommended she stay active so that we could monitor her heart valve before it failed. But let’s be real—getting her to exercise turned into an uphill battle. Anyone else have a stubborn loved one who thinks housework or gardening totally counts as working out?

    My mom is the queen of productive activities—she’d rather plant seeds and water her garden, than hop on a stationary bike for 15 minutes. I get it: cycling to nowhere can feel dull. But, I knew her heart needed some form of regular exercise to stay strong after everything she’d been through. She finally got to a point where she would walk for 15 minutes a day with us, and then eventually on the stationary bike for 10 minutes a day for a couple months.

    It’s still a work in progress. Some days, I nudge her to come out to Costco with me (for a walk) or try simple stretching routines. Some days, she will go upstairs a few times to do laundry (taking the stairs is huge for her!) and we celebrate the fact she’s not lounging in bed all day. Small wins, right?

    From finding creative ways to keep my mom moving to juggling everyone’s schedules, caregiving was starting to test my resilience.

    Question for the community:
    How do you encourage your loved ones to stay active, especially when they resist structured exercise?

  • Becoming Mom’s Medical Advocate

    Becoming Mom’s Medical Advocate

    Once I realized the gravity of my mom’s conditions, the next step was clear: become her advocate at every doctor’s visit. Here’s how that shift happened.

    When Mom and I first visited her cardiologist together, I came armed with a notepad and a thousand questions. I wanted to get the full picture—what exactly should we be on the lookout for? How would we know if her condition was getting worse? And seriously, what did all these medications actually do?

    That’s when I learned there’s no cure for aortic valve stenosis (when calcification messes with how the heart valve works). Her cardiologist told us that the only real solution is to keep an eye out for signs of heart valve failure so she can get a replacement in time. According to the doctor, regular physical activity and a healthy diet can help us catch red flags early, before things take a serious turn.

    In that moment, I realized one of my biggest roles would be showing up at appointments—pen in hand—ready to absorb the details for her and stay in the loop. It is no longer just about driving her there; it’s about translating medical jargon, listing out things the doctor wanted her to do in between appointments, asking follow-up questions, and making sure neither of us leaves feeling confused.

    Navigating doctor’s appointments was one thing—encouraging my mom to stay active was another beast entirely. Raise your hand if you’ve been there! Next, I’ll share how I learned to balance gentle nudges and respecting her preferences.

    Do you attend medical appointments with your loved ones? What strategies help you stay organized and ask the right questions?

  • Uncovering Hidden Health Issues

    Uncovering Hidden Health Issues

    About three years ago, after my mom stopped driving, I found a new GP who could see both of us – hoping to make scheduling simpler. Little did I know that first consultation would open up a whole can of medical worms.

    Before, I would drop Mom off at appointments while I waited in the car or the lobby. She’d come out insisting everything was “fine”. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. The new GP’s office asked for our health histories, so I helped mom with hers. That’s when I uncovered a laundry list of conditions she barely knew about. Aortic stenosis, kidney issues, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. Not exactly “fine”, right?

    Mom also mentioned that her cardiologist spoke so softly she could barely catch what he was saying. No wonder she wasn’t following up or asking questions. I realized I needed to be there with her at her appointments, to make sure we both understood what was going on. That’s how I became her medical advocate, helping her see the big picture and plan for the future. Let’s dive into that next!

    Have you ever uncovered surprising health information about a loved one? How did it change the way you approached caregiving?