Starting My Own Medication Trial

Through all of this, I held onto one crucial piece of advice from my son’s specialist:

“ADHD medication should make you feel like yourself—just calmer and more focused. If you feel anxious, angry, or unlike yourself, there are many other alternatives to try.”

That stuck with me as I began my own stimulant trial. It also made me understand why so many people are hesitant to try ADHD meds—I had already seen the worst of the side effects up close.

The first few months on medication felt potentially life-changing. I had chemical blinders for my brain! Suddenly, I could filter out distractions and actually complete tasks. My mind—usually a chaotic swirl of half-finished thoughts—was, dare I say, quiet.

But with relief came a flood of regret. I kept thinking: What if I had known this sooner? How different would my life have been if I had access to this kind of support when I was younger? The weight of those thoughts was heavy.

I couldn’t rewrite the past, but I could take control of what happened next.

Like my son, I had to go through trial and error before finding the right fit. While he was reaching his limit on methylphenidate, I was just getting started on it.

The clarity was indescribable. I had no idea my brain was capable of single focus and sustained attention. Until that day, I couldn’t even read a single page without my mind wandering—unless I was completely dialed into the story.

I had to test my new ability. I picked up an old textbook (for fun?!?), read an entire chapter, and retained all of it. Mind. Blown. I was immediately jealous of neurotypical brains and finally understood why I struggled so much in my youth.

• If you’ve tried ADHD medication, what was the most surprising effect—good or bad?
• Have you ever had to switch medications due to unexpected side effects? How did you know it was time to try something different?
• What’s one piece of advice you wish you had when you first started ADHD treatment?